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A Brief History of Our Universe
Part 1: The early days
(best if viewed while listening to John
Cage's "Perilous Night" for prepared
piano)
Figure 1: A Brief View of the Ealy [sic]
Origin and Delelopment [sic]
of the Universe[.]
Figure 2: A commonly held view is
that in a "Quantum Subspace"
universes are pulling away
from that "universe" - and
when they fail to pop back...
Figure 3: They get "stuck" in their
own universe and then go "Bang!".
Figure 4: Why they go "Bang!" has
yet to be determined.
And we will not speculate
on that. Our goal is, ...
HEY!! Wait a minute
(please ignore this slide)
Figure 4: Why they go "Bang!" has
yet to be determined.
And we will not speculate
on that. Our goal is to
examine, the first 10-40th of
a second of the Universe.
Figure 5: Here shown many kazillions
(metric: Kilo-Zillions) of
times magnified, is a picture
of the unvierse, just 10-1729th of
a second after it formed. As
you can see, many structures
have already started to form.
Figure 6: Just moments later (~~ 10-107 second)
many dimensions and mathematical
structures were lost ...
Figure 7: Briefly the universe
"rested". (You probably
didn't know universes even
get tired did you?) Regardless,
it was just after the resting
ended -- that, ...
Figure 8: Musical notatons formed.
(There was still no actual
music as yet written - or not).
Some philosophers have specuated that
neither Marcel Duchamp, John Cage, or
Merce Cunningham never existed and were
the "comical" creations of Rose Selvay,
Man Ray, and Nam June Paik - inspired
by the lost poem of Alfred Jarry's mother
"Ode to a Matador that i once was".
However, such pataphysical speculations
are beyond the scope of the present work.
..(to be continued)..
Part 2: The Great Quark Conference
Tonight, we are proud to present the second in
a series of somewhat baffling lectures purporting
to be "A Brief History of the Universe". Please
pay as you exist/exit....
Note: This section may be conveniently listenedd to/of
by your favorite "i'm so angry, i could turn
into a STOP sign!!" music; suggestions include,
Pendereski's "Threnody to the Vicitims of Hiroshima",
Black Star's "Let's make some cash" (track 5),
or of course Beethoven's "h Eroica" Symphony.
Without further ado, Part 2: The Great Quark Conference
and what resulted of it.
Figure 9: The Great Quark Conference
It was at precisely,
t = (1.0 + 9.27E-24) * 1.0E2
** (1.0E-42 + ((1.0/1000.0) * (6.626E-27 / (2.0 * 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647 093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176 (well you get the idea ;) ... )
)
)
)
seconds that the vote was called for:
"No particle shall be required
to serve in any *elected* oFfice;
all offices shall be heraldillly [sic]
inherited."
There were quick responses to this clearly elite-ist
move by the quarks....
Figure 10: In a brave show of defiance,
all physical and mathematical
constants walked out -- except for ....
except for c, which hitched a ride on with
passing zinging electron anti-neutrino.
Figure 11: All neutrinos zanged out in
support as a show of solidarity
with Labour... (They all ended up in a
pub in Magnetsville).
Figure 12: Which is odd, because the
Labour Party was still
trying to decide on a mascott/slogan.
Figure 13: At this point, even quarks
who had been sitting
(metaphysically) on the fnse were
confused. Clearly *some* order must
be brought to the problem.
Figure 14: For this reason, the solution
was left to a newly formed .com
"Chaos, Catastrophe, & Howard". **
The solution was (slightly) less than
elegant. It was first named
"The Fool's Lament"
Later,
NYUK
------ --> p ft
lgh
** Note: (The newness of the .com should be of
little concern, since *everything*
was new or at least n ;)
Figure 15: At 10-42 seconds, a dapper
young philosopher suggested that
helically structured ribose strands could
be both self replicating and stable --
but capable of Diversity.
Figure 16: Unfortunately, the suggestion
wasn't taken serously -- since
it was well known that Gamow and Lemotre [sic]
(who had been hired as interior decorators)
were well known for their [well known]
imaginative wall hangings and practical
jokes.
So, it was that the universe seemed to be destined
to be one for which Martin Reese's "six numbers"
would't lead to anything productive (not even
decorative party favors).
Something had to be done. But, what?
...(to be continued)....
Note: No ducks (or parrots) were injured in
the making of this work. Special
stunt-ducks were borrowed from Pastis'
"Rat and Pig" comic strip: "Pearls before Swine".
We wish to thank them and would like to
send a packet of petunia seeds to the
Ministry of Man on Down. Unfortunately,
ram-scoop and Bussard technologies are
not yet existint.
We appologise for the inconvenience.
The ISS *is* coming along nicely, wot?
email: Frank, via fleeding AT hotmail.com
(all corrections welcomb)